I looked back yesterday, I tripped over these patterns and this broken glass. I let your words cut into me once more. I could smell you, Freshly laundered clothes, with spritz of nature thrown in. I could taste you, each pore expanding and seeping through the tip of my tongue. I swore, I swore, I swore I never loved you. But, sometimes this biggest surprise is the least surprising. I hope that you're well, That you mold and change and flow into what you've always wanted to become. Sometimes, I hope that you look back, and i hope that you miss me.

I don't hold value to the big things that you've done for me. I remember the little things, like the letter you sent half way across the united states to me, with three lines of song lyrics that reminded you of me. I'll remember how you still answered my phone calls, and let me scream and cry and yell into your ear. I won't remember the hurt you caused me, but I will remember when you asked me to marry you. I'll forget all of the kisses we never shared. I'll forget the way that you tore my sutures out with words that spread thick as wild fires. i won't remember the gaping hole you've left, three notches into my ribs. I will remember you for every pound I'm losing and every inch that melts away. I will remember you for the bruise that took three weeks to dissolve. I will remember you for the collarbone kisses, for the guilty moments spent pushed against my wall. I'll remember you for your eyes, and your love of morrissey. but, if I've loved once, I've loved a thousand times. and I will love yet again.

I should've never used someone so perfect to be my crutch. now I have to get over you both.